I had an interesting

Mother's Day.

Like most of you out there who are struggling with this day, I tend to stay well away from most things this particular day including church. Well, I even tried to get out of singing, as I sing on the worship team. All the while, something inside of me told me to do this. For some weeks now God has really been working in my heart about infertility, love and envy and jealousy. So this Mother's Day I sang at church and even (unknowingly, only that strong desire to share even though you are not sure why you are sharing, if you follow me) shared my testimony about how my hubbyman and I have been struggling with infertility and desiring to have a child of our own. I wanted the church to remember those who were not in attendance who may have a hard time being there especially if they have suffered a loss of a baby, child, mother or cannot share in a day that celebrates what they feel they are not a part of and to pray for those who may feel alone today of all days.

It was most wonderful the feedback I got from so many. One fellow brother shared how some years ago Mother's Day was marred when his mother informed him that she only had 6 weeks to live. She was gone by the 6th week. Another young lad was moved to tears as he remembered how Mother'd Day is tough since his mother passed away.

My pastor and an elder in the church came up and prayed over me. Another couple prayed for me also and shared a special word of love for us.

It is funny how over the years I have been resigned to staying away from certain things, however these days I am filled with a lot of work and other 'distractions' that my passion for baby has died down some. Then last night it was like God had touched me and now that baby desire flame feels like it is still lit. I know deep inside that the flame was always lit.

I have to stay focused and I now know that I am a mother even though I have not given birth, they have been so many children that God has placed in my path that I have looked and cared over whether that be in daycare or in vacation Bible school. I was reminded about that when I found one of my CDs that we used to make up a Hawaiian theme for our study with the children. What wonderful memories! I play that CD when I feel I need a gentle hug from those little children that I miss.

Anyway I hope you are all doing well out there. I am.

Just trying to keep my focus where it needs to be at this time....

:)

Blessings.