I'm so sad right now

Hubbyman is going to have his SA test and blood test and hopefully the IVF Dr we were going to use will call us back and let us know why we are not getting pregnant.

I am sad right now as I know that we will be moving to Ontario next year however I do not want us to miss out on this opportunity to do the IVF or whatever it is that Dr H may suggest that we can get pregnant.

I am frustrated with the fact that we only need about 3 months so that whatever changes hubbyman makes to his body will effect his sperm positively. However what if we do that and nothing still happens? I mean it will be 5 years this Nov since we started trying and still nothing. The big factor for us is that we both work at WalMart and do not earn that much. To do this would really mean a huge sacrifice. What if it doesn't work? I am just going on and on. I am just so sad right now. I am thinking about applying somewhere else soon in order to get more money saved. Nights are getting on my nerves anyways and the physical aspect of this job is really effecting my body I am noticing, more and more :( There are so many that I know who are getting ready to start cycling when I thought I would be in the middle of having some serious money saved by now and well we did not foresee the illness that struck Dad and made hubbyman leave and go back East for 5 weeks and creating a huge dent on our baby fund. I am just sad as I know that this may be it for us. I am turning 41 in Nov and want a baby NOW!!!!!!

My heart is breaking...yet again.

When LORD, when? Will we ever hold our own baby?

Sweet Blessings!

FIL had a better day yesterday, the best day so far according to hubbyman! He was up in bed, talking and smiling. He was shaved by hubbyman with his electric shaver and Mum was able to apply some cortisone cream to his body as he has been feeling very itchy. I am so thrilled to hear of this good report and continue to thank God for His many blessings. So thankful.

My prayers continue that this day gets better and better!

Blessings.

It's not looking good for Dad

Dad was transported to another hospital yesterday (Tuesday March 9th) for a consultation for radiation therapy. Sadly the Dr stated that it is too late and that Dad is too weak for this and that all should be made so that he is comfortable and hope that his energy comes back The Dr stated that had he come in 3 weeks ago they would have started treatment. There is nothing more that man can do for Dad, so I beg that you all continue to pray for him. My hubbyman is so sad as is Mum and SIL. His symptoms are being aggravated by his diabetes (that he was diagnosed with the last time I saw him back in 2007) and is alleviated with morphine. His feet, hands and legs are starting to swell now. I am just praying that God blesses us all with a miracle and I can see Dad again this side of heaven.

I know God is in the business of miracles, I am praying for that. Perhaps He can take Dad swiftly so his suffering is not too long-winded...

A better day

Dad had a better ay when hubbyman and SIL visited with him on Monday. He was chatty, laughing and even had some colour in his cheeks.

We'll take this good day over the bad always.

As for me, I went and had my CD3 blood work and pelvic u/s done on Monday. our IVF Dr should get these results soon. I had to update him re hubbyman's status and that he may not be back for a time since Dad is quite weak. So, for now he will have my test results and hubbyman's will follow as soon as he gets back.

Not so sure about it all still...far from my mind. This whole distraction with Dad's illness has finally removed the baby desire from my mind. I no longer wake up with baby on my mind however I wake up with Dad, hubbyman and Mum on my mind.

Such is life. Perhaps one day we can look into this again. For now it is time for me to step away from here until we know what we will be pursuing.

Blessings.

An inoperable tumor

is what my FIL has in his upper lungs. Too big and just too far gone. Apparently the cough that we thought he developed a few months ago, he has had for a year!

My heart is slowly breaking knowing that my hubbyman will be there indefinitely since Dad may not make it much longer, the pain and heartache he will be in when he loses his father, I just feel so weak at the moment. It is only in prayer I feel God's presence and strength.

I am praying that Dad will get better and hubbyman comes home in happy spirits!

Help me Lord.